Earlier this morning I was on the phone to my now ex friend. This particular friend even though he does not think he portrays himself in this way, to me comes across as racist, and for the sake of argument let’s call this friend ‘Bob’.
Ever since I have met Bob, he has always teased (harshly) and criticised me heavily for dating Caucasian men. As far as all our phone conversations go that is always the norm with him, however there was something specific he said that completely threw me off. He told me that if I marry a Caucasian man, I am one of the few starting a whole new discourse of slavery again, and my marriage will not be a marriage because I will be my husband’s slave. I was in total shock and speechless. I could not believe my ears at all, and the only word I managed to get out of my mouth was ‘racist’.
After accusing him of being a racist he said something much more absurd then the previous comment. He said “one of my close friend is married to a Caucasian woman and i’m ok with that”. That comment really had me thinking. According to his logic if a black man marries a Caucasian woman, it’s empowering because she’s being submissive to her husband who is a man of colour, so therefore slavery does not exist in their household. However if a woman of colour marries a Caucasian man, she’s his slave because as a woman we’re taught to be submissive to our husbands.
The sad thing is i’ve recently read a blog post about something like this and it never occurred to me that people actually hold on to these ridiculous logics. First of all marriage is a partnership, therefore making the two individuals one and that’s how God created it to be.
Growing up I have always been criticised for my preference of men and I have learnt to live with that. I do not judge a man by the colour of his skin and I have dated black men. If God was to send me a good black man as a husband I will not turn him down, because a good man has no skin colour. With that being said I also know what attracts me and I refuse to make excuses for the fact that the white man always seem to get my attention. It’s just the way things has always been.
If you hate a person simply because of the colour of their skin, because of the act of slavery, then I strongly believe you are no better then the slave owners themselves.